Monday, 29 April 2013

double teapot handles ...

The Bard told us that 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned'. He should have been around when a woman learned that her utility room worktops had been drastically reduced in length.

Carbon Legacy are installing our ventilation system and our underfloor heating. Underfloor heating controls are sited in our Plant Room but another set of controls was needed and so we agreed that they would go into our Utility Room. Then we discovered that two ventilation units were needed and we understood that one of these would go onto the Utility Room wall. No problem. Or so I thought, in my naivety...

So, I'm tootalling around with dad and Jill arrives late on site . She's not happy. The ventilation system box is huge and is right in the middle of the Utility Room wall, reducing worktop length. I've got to be honest here and saw it and carried on with something else. Whoosh, straight over my head. Also, whoosh, the underfloor heating manifolds are higher than we thought and will also reduce worktop space: missed that one too.

I am known for misreading the signals. There's sometimes a chopping right hand action to emphasise a job that is outstanding. I'll say something like, 'I know, I know, you don't need to remind me every six months about it'.

this is what got me in trouble
Someone's not happy and we need to have a walk. I know the signs - flashing eyes ... and dad's falling back. Don't I think the worktop length is too short? I'm getting a bit anxious as a hand goes on a hip. We're on teapot handle alert now. Where's dad gone? I make a mistake and suggest that the worktop length seems ok to me. What?! Both hands on hips and we've moved to double teapot handle mode. Danger. Danger. I can almost hear dad's reverse gears grating.

Let's go and look at it again, and, praise the Lord, Roger has arrived. One of the Carbon Legacy guys innocently asks why a long worktop is needed - the equivalent of a 10 litre pot of Tippex (that's a big mistake). I blunder on, pacing out the remaining space and wondering aloud if that will be enough...? Of course, I've not taken into account the chest freezer.... Couldn't the top be used as part of the worktop? I'm like a man feeling his way through a minefield using his outstretched foot. Jumping Jehozafat!

Then, bless him, Roger to the rescue with a solution that sees the ventilation unit relocated into the cloakroom cupboard. And the underfloor heating manifolds shortened so that the worktop's original length is restored.

Bless those Carbon Legacy boys: they took down the offending item and relocated it without a murmur.

I made it a Baileys-in-the-coffee night when we got home. I think dad needed a strong cup of tea.

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